This is chapter one. Suggesting/ideas/comments/critique appreciated! =]

I

Our navy blue van pulled up to an unfamiliar driveway.

“We’re here!” my mom exclaimed enthusiasticly.

Kyle and I groaned. Our new house was much bigger than our old one. Red bricks covered the sturdy walls, and four beautiful windows were visible at the front. The porch was fairly small, but still decent looking. Tall, black street lights stood everywhere, and even though it was 4pm no one was outside. In my former neighbourhood, old ladies sat on wooden benches placed on their porch, kids ran around playing hopscotch, and families went on walks with their dogs. This seemed like an abandoned street. And although it did not look spooky, chills ran down my spine at the sight of our new house. Relieved that I didn’t have to go to school today I stepped out of the car and began helping my parents unpack.

“Go pick your rooms if you want, you can help us unpack later” my dad said cheerfully.

As soon as the words slipped out of his mouth Kyle dashed in to the house. I quickly followed, hoping that he wouldn’t choose the best looking room before I got even a glimpse of it. I hesitated before opening the sturdy front door. After standing in the doorway for a minute or two, probably looking like an idiot, I viciously twisted the door knob, and peeked inside the house. It was better than I expected. A long hallway, and spiral staircase stood before me. I couldn’t help but smile. It just looked so fasinating on the inside. I’m not living in a fairytale, no need to get my hopes up, I told myself sternly. Climbing up the staircase I noticed Kyle in his new room. It was farthest away from the master bedroom, no surprise there. I guess that leaves me with the other room… I peeked inside. A wide grin spread across my face. The view was astounding. There were two large windows, with sparkly maroon and gold curtains. The walls were painted a soft magenta, and the carpet was a light shade of silver. Somehow, the colours suited me perfectly. An unexpected déjà vu feeling spread inside of me. Wait… this looked almost exactly like my old bedroom! Wow. Didn’t see that one coming.

“Mind helping us unpack now?” my mom yelled from downstairs, distracting all of my thoughts.

I didn’t want to leave my precious room for a second, it felt like the only memory of my previous home that I had left. I gathered the strength to pick myself up, and drag my legs downstairs.

My mom and dad were running around the house, carefully placing marked boxes that said things like China. Be CAREFUL!, or Kyle’s CDs. Mom has always been an organization freak. I think that’s why she was so happy to move in the first place. Because our old house had gotten so full of junk, and so cluttered that she just wanted to be rid of it, and start over. As for me, this meant a whole new beginning. Not only with the house, but also with the people.

Grabbing my heavy suitcase full of clothes, shoes, and who-knows-what, I struggled to get it back upstairs. It had to be at least thirty pounds, maybe even fourty.

“Need a little help?” Kyle asked, grinning at my pathetic attempt to carry the heavy load.

“No, I’m fine” I said, rolling my eyes at him.

Kyle had to leave his popularity behind when we left. But I was almost certain that he’d get it back in no time. It was hard on him, but he was finally smiling again. He always blamed me, even though my parents moved because they needed it. It was either dad transferred to L.A or he was fired, and we couldn’t afford that right now.

Once I finally got to the top of the stairs, I put my suitcase in my room, and sighed with relief. Glad that’s over with. Now, to move on to more important things… just as I was about to get my iPod out of the suitcase, the doorbell abruptly rang.

“Kyle, Emma get down here! I think we have guests!” my mom said excidetly. Annoyed as I was, I didn’t want some stupid new neighbours coming over for dinner. My mom opened the door to an overly cheery woman with light brown hair and a big smile on her face. The woman greeted us, practically yelling “Hello! Welcome to the neighborhood!” She reminded me of the “littles” from Stuart Little. Cute movie. Kyle, and I stared at eachother, trying not to break out laughing. Her husband, I assumed, walked up behind her. He was the picture of a the abused housewife, as he almost hid behind his wife. A little boy walked between the two and stood in front of his mother.

“My name is Jane Jackson, this is my son Colton, and his father, Jack. We also have a 16 year old daughter, Julia” I looked at Kyle again. I mouthed Jack Jackson to him. He smiled.

“Emma, you and Julia are the same age! I’m sure you’d become great friends.” Mom said eagerly. I sighed, ignoring my mom’s enthusiasm. I wasn’t looking forward to making friends. It seemed so easy when my brother did it, but when I tried to be nice to people, they stared at me as if I had two
heads.

Colton slowly came up to us, and said, “Hello. My name is Colton. I’m a boy. I like Tarzan. I always wished my dad’s name was Tarzan and then it would be Tarzan and Jane. I even asked my mama to name me Tantar but she said that I already had a name.” I couldn’t hold it in, and neither could Kyle. We burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry about them” I heard my dad say, looking at us with his when-they’re-gone-you’re-gonna-get-it glare at me and Kyle. I bent down, smiling at Colton. “It’s okay to like a name like Tantar, but you should stick with your own name.” He nodded, frowning.

“Well, I’d say we’ve taken up enough of your time.” Jane said. “Perhaps we can get together another time.” She smiled at us. Jack hadn’t said a word the whole time.

“Bye!” Colton called, walking out the door.
“Thanks for coming.” Dad replied, closing the door behind them.

Not wanting to talk to my family, or get lectured from dad, I walked up the stairs and closed my door tightly.
Looked like I wouldn’t be getting dinner tonight.
o.o

I’m not 11…. LOL!

I remember you.. You are the amazing 11 years old who can write novel. Ok.. my suggestion. I don’t think you’re gonna have big help from other people here. If I were you, I would make a blog and post this writing there. Then you will get more helps or comments from other people.
Probably www.blogger.com will let you create your blogger very easy.
PS: your writing is amazing.. you should be proud of yourself